Dulu lain sekarang lain.

Dulu,masa kecik-kecik,kita selalu duduk sama-sama cakap pasal future. Kita planned mau pegi holiday sama-sama, ada yang mau pergi study sama-sama, ada lagi plan mahu kahwin on the same day! What a crazy idea kan? It was really obvious kita tidak mahu berpisah. We will try our very best to go back home and meet every raya and every family occasion just to meet up and catching up with each other with the reason of pergi family function. Bila sudah jumpa, we feel the world is already ours and I remember how happy we were at that time. But as the clock ticking, each one of us scattered around in achieving our own ambitions and dreams. Ada juga yang lost macam saya :D (im still looking for the right direction and I hope its not too late). Masing-masing sudah ada life sendiri and their own principles and believes. Dulu, satu cakap A semua cakap A! Sekarang, satu cakap A yang satu lagi cakap B! Totally opposing each other. Weird! Like what we always said, gila bah kita dulu kan?? :D 

 

As I see it, the people who surrounded me from the day I was born until today, from the year of 1987 until 2010, I was surrounded with so many great people. And these great people now are becoming a great person of themselves. I cannot tell how proud I am now when I see each one of them pursuing their dreams. Having our own life is our dream and so do they. Ada yang sudah jadi university student, career man and woman, ada yang sudah jadi bapa orang, tunang orang, bini orang, macam- macam. Masing- masing ada dream sendiri and I can be nothing more than delighted towards them.

 

The main point is, other than reminiscing and compare dulu sama sekarang, what I’m trying to point out here is that the value that build between us should make us stronger on the inside regardless kita friends, relatives, sibling, cousins or maybe we just met somewhere and we got close after certain occasions. It doesn't mean we are close now and the next ten years we won’t be two different people! It doesn't mean we don't hang out now often we are not close macam dulu. It’s the bond that lies upon us. It does not lie in our blood, it’s in our heart. 

 

It’s true it will be a lie if I said that I don’t miss those times. It’s a lie if I said I don’t want to turn back time and be cooler than you *jokingly*. I’d love to go back there BUT as I see it now, nothing can be greater than seeing you happy, successful, prettier, macho-er, cuter, thinner or maybe wider *jangan terasa because this goes to me too*. I’m very proud of you. Very much.

The big four letter.

Hello there, this is my first time writing. Trying to pursue with something new. After what had happened, I have been neglecting so many things, especially myself. I'm trying to catch up with myself now. Its odd when a person needs to do that to themselves.Well,it's simple. The four BIG letters came to me, LIFE!

Will try to stay awake, because I's taking some kind of cough medicine that will lead me to sleep. I hope I know what I'm writing as it will not bore or myself when I'm reading it later. And amazingly, that is how life works. We need to be conscious in everything we do. Try not to let other things to sleep us away. Never let them take our life away from us. We earned it. Allah gave it to us for us to live with, not to be taken away from us. Only Him can take away such gift.

According to the Shariah (don't ask me why I'm putting this on) there are ways to protect life. Besides that, we have our own ways too. Sometimes when I kept saying, "this is what I want and this is what i should do" and later on i said "I don't think I want this and I should have never done that from the very beginning". Been here and done that guys? Well I know that I'm not alone. I now you have been in that situation. You know what? That is how life works and mistakes will become our great teacher, great companion. Its hurting at the very beginning but in the end we will live with no regret. Besides earning valuable experience, we will become a better person. So what if we got ourselves into such a mess? It won't be that bad. Worse case is people will remember how terrible we were during that mess and they will forget about it. Trust me; they won't have time to think about us as much as they love to "jaga tepi kain orang" (as the Malay proverb says). It's our time to prove to them that we're a better person and they won't say much. Other than keeping quite (since they tried to deny how great we have been) or maybe they will try to mock us down again and again. Well, there is nothing much we can do about them. Believe me, they will forget.

Well, this is how I'm handling it now. And my mess, I can't complain much because I know there is someone else out there is terrifying for their mess terribly compared to me. Mine was just nothing compared to them.

This is just a phase of life that i have walked upon. Collecting the stones on those sidewalks made that journey interesting and that is how the big four letter works.